When I was a child, I grew up with a single father. He bought me toys (and some I asked him to buy) like dolls and dollhouses, stuffed animals, cars, soldiers, balls, legos, building blocks, etc. A wide range. But normally I'd play with boys stuff and most of the girlie toys eventually got given away or just sat collecting dust in the storage room. He didn't care.
He dressed me in dresses, pants, whatever. And he personally cut my hair in a bob or shoulder length. I'd wear a few bows and stuff in my hair sometimes or tied up.
When I got older (around 7 or 8) I started not wearing dresses in daily life anymore. But when I refused to go to a like a party in a dress but wanted to wear pants he'd get angry and spanked and swear at me until I wore one and he'd manhandle me into one if I still refused.
Around the same time he also took me to barbershop and he got me girlish styles a couple of times. Then another time he took me there and I was looking through the hairstyle magazines I went to the boys section. He grabbed it away from me and give it back to me in the girls section saying I was wasting time. Well I turned it straight back to the boys section and pointed out a crew cut and said I wanted that. He yelled at me no and proceeded to a pick out a girls style that was layered and would show a bit of ear and gave it to the barber. When it was done I threw a fit saying I wanted it shorter and I refused to get out of the barber chair. Other customers were looking at us strangely. I remember asking the barber why won't he cut shorter and he said my father wouldn't allow it. Eventually my father practically yanked me out of the chair and dragged me out of the door. Not to mention he gave me another beating when we got home.
When I was a teenager, he was pretty relaxed though and just let me do what I want. Oh, by the way, he remarried then and I had a stepmother and she pretty much had the same mind as him. Anyway they both pretty much refused to let me go to any parties because I wouldn't wear a dress. Normally my hairstyle was that short layered cut that showed a little ear.
When I was 16, one time we were all getting haircuts in a barbershop (by the way, this is not the same barbership I mentioned before - we had moved over 5000 miles away. When it was my turn I told the barber to shave my head. My parents, especially my father was like are you crazy but they ignored it. But this time it was the barber who pretty much refused saying they don't want to cut bad haircuts for people and then get blamed saying 'they' are the hair experts not us. So my father was like he's right, then just don't do it and get a proper cut as he says. Not to say I threw a fit again (attracting the attention of other customers of course) until the barber would do as I say. Well when the cut was done it was nice, though my face looked a little too boyish, I got quite a few confused looks from people but I didn't care it was what I needed. Anyway from that day on, I usually went alone and got the same cut every time. They protested but I told them to do it.
While we are reading, we are all don Quixote.
—Mason Cooley (b. 1927)
I'm in my mid 20s now, an adult with my own home. I just do whatever I want. I'm get my head shaved every 2-3 months, I never wear makeup, I wear normally neutral or boyish clothing, I have no purse-my wallet goes in my pants pocket and if I need to carry stuff it goes into plastic bags or I just use my laptop bag, but I do wear girlish jewellery, my shoes have a bit of heels, and I paint my long nails.
I have spoken to my father, especially, about his treatment of me when I was a little girl. His excuse was always because I'm a girl and and so on. But he did finally apologise but rather harshly. Several times over the course of a few years I did ask him if he had another daughter who was like me would he change how he'd treat her. He kept saying one child is enough, there won't be another one. When I asked what if, he said stop asking there won't be another child. Well, my stepmother is in her mid-late 40s. and it is going to be hard to get another child even if they wanted one, I think he's using that as an excuse not to answer my question.
As to friends. For my entire life, except for when I was a little child when my father forced me to not look too boyish, except for some family but they all have their own lives to care about and we'd pretty much only meet on important events, I pretty much have no friends at all. The girls don't like me, the boys don't like me, whenever I ask what's wrong, they all think I'm weird and ugly, and think I'm lesbian (no, that's not me) or wanting a sex change (no, I don't either-not to mention it's practically disallowed in my country anyway-I looked up info simply for fun), and just slink away from me. I did attempt to make a few friends, they'd talk to me for a couple of weeks but they'd just go away and not let me in with their group, and they'd never call me and keep saying their busy when I call them,
To be clear. I am not complaining that I have no friends.
I've practically never had any and I made do with my life just fine and I'm happy and content with the way I am and I don't care whether I make any.
It's like someone who is poor and never had much money their whole life, they are happy and never complained they don't care whether or not they have money in the future. Or like someone who has been deaf their entire life, they are happy and they never complained and they don't care whether or not they get an ear implants.
What has influenced my life more than any other single thing has been my stammer. Had I not stammered I would probably ... have gone to Cambridge as my brothers did, perhaps have become a don and every now and then published a dreary book about French literature.
—W. Somerset Maugham (1874–1965)
I just want to know what it was that simply just puts everyone off. I know there are a few bad seeds out there but seriously, everyone?
#7, I didn't know that that foreigners had anything to do with this at all. Anyway, so I'd like to put this in my question too.
When I was a little girl with my father, we actually were the foreigners, though I was raised as a native to fit in.
When I became a teenager, we moved home, so we were no longer foreigners. My actions at first were like foreigners but as time went by I act more like a native. I pretty much act mostly native now.